DVD's

Over the past few years, I've picked up the bad habit of collecting DVD's. This is mainly due to Best Buy's $10 DVD sales that are meant to get people in the store to buy things that they actually make a profit on.

This Christmas, my list consisted mainly of DVD's and as I began to organize the collection and unwrap them, I became consumed with anger as I usually do whilst trying to open the cases. My question is a simple one: why, oh why, do they need to make DVD's so hard to open? The answer you would probably get from the evil DVD conglomerate is that they are trying to prevent people from stealing DVD's from the stores; if people can open the case, they can find the magical sensor bar that sets the alarms off and discard it onto the floor (or more strategically, put it in someone else's bag or pocket).

So they need theft prevention, I get that. I would go so far to say that the shrink wrap they cover it in should be enough. I've never seen a Best Buy store that isn't crawling with employees or at least full of people meandering about. Doesn't one think that trying to get shrink wrap (the crinkly kind that not only makes noise when you look at it but also has a propensity to stick [via static] to parts of one's body they didn't even know they had) would be kind of obvious? Wouldn't they get caught?

But no, the evil conglomerate goes further and puts this clear label placed with Gorilla Glue over the top that is nearly impossible to remove without damaging the plastic case. Worst yet, some conglomerates are more evil than others and put similar labels on the side AND the bottom. If you are lucky enough to get them off, then they attack you by wrapping themselves around your fingers, on your jeans, and across your rear end. Perhaps someone would think it amusing to walk around with a "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" label across your butt (and no, I don't have that movie) but not I.

This is further proof that the world is against me... Or just telling me that I should stop spending so much money on DVD's...

The Kiddie Table

The kiddie table has long been a refuge at holiday gatherings but this year, there was an egregious violation. To be fair, in order for a violation to occur, there has to be a clear set of rules. After a quick search, I came up empty handed, so I submit to the world a framework that can be built upon as necessary.

Rule 1: Actual kids get the first dibs at the table. If they choose to forfit their positions, the next-youngest person has a right to the table.

Rule 2: The youngest person at the table has the right to be designated "Table Overlord" and thus has the authority to say who can and cannot sit at the table. (Note: This right does not exempt this person from possible repricussions based on decisions made).

Rule 3: If you are over 50 years old, you are banished from the kiddie table. Chances are, if you are that old, the people at the kid's table will be making fun of you. If you are present, this becomes impossible and greatly detracts from the enjoyment of the holiday.

Rule 4: If you are crazy, you are also banished from the kid's table UNLESS you are "funny crazy" which is to be solely determined by rightful occupants. Crazy people include but are not limited to:

a) People who own more than 2 cats
b) People who do not leave their town of residence at least once a month
c) Women who send letters to priests with little heart stickers on them
d) People who think that the actual kid's at the table are their own children when in fact, they are not

The rules are simple. Sadly, rules 3 and 4 were broken this year detracting from the usual pleasure I get from poking fun at relatives who deserve it. Instead, I enjoyed my Turkey in silence - at least it was good Turkey.

High School Rivalries...

Today, I was on my way to grocery store and while driving by my old high school, I noticed that the nice, big, expensive message board was covered, wrapped to be more precise, in thick, clear plastic. This could mean only one thing - this was the week of the Liberty/Freedom footbal game.

For those of you who aren't locals, Liberty was the name of my high school and Freedom was the "other" high school across town. Every year, the teams would meet in one of the biggest games of the year. It wasn't big in the sense that Freedom was a difficult opponent but more that they were our number one rival. [Note: It's always a good policy to have a rival that is never as good as you and that you always beat].

The best part of the rivalry was the week leading up to the big game - aka Spirit Week. Every day, there was some event meant to boost school spirit and decorations all over the place. What made Spirit Week special was the war that students waged on the other school. It got so bad that they had to stop having the football game on a Friday night and had to move it to Saturday afternoons.

Back in the day, we used to cause all sorts of havoc. Freedom students once let chickens loose in our band room. Liberty students, in what was not our proudest moment, poured red and blue (our school colors) Kool-Aid into their pool not realizing that the filters would mix them together and turn the pool purple. In addition to the good-natured fun, things turned dirty and people would vandalize the other school's property.

But of all the hype, there were three stories that I will remember fondly; two of which happened during my tenure and the third happening the year after I graduated.

1) Freedom's homeroom was held in the gym every morning. My friend Lisa and a crew of band members (with her dad's help I believe), managed to put a tape recording of Liberty's fight song and some speakers into a clarinet case which in turn was soldered shut. They then snuck into Freedom's homeroom and strategically placed said cases into a pile of other cases Freedom's band members had placed against a wall. As homeroom began, the fight song began to play over and over again and no one could find the source. Eventually, they located the cases but couldn't get them opened. It turned into a large scale effort with people throwing the cases at the wall to get them to stop.

2) The night before the game was typically the time that Freedom made their move on our high school. We had received intelligence that they were planning a hit on our band room late at night. At the time, I was in charge of all the lighting and sound in our auditorium (it's not as nerdy as it sounds, I swear) so I have access to a few spotlights. The entrance to our bandroom was in a square parking lot with only one entrance. We had positioned about three spotlights in various elevated areas and had about 50 people hidden in various spots in the area ready with water balloons and other weapons. We were about to give up at about 1am when a car came around the corner of the building with no headlights running on silent. When the car stopped, the invaders got out....SHUNK....SHUNK.....SHUNK... three spotlights on them and the attack began. The poor guys didn't stand a chance but it was war. We won that battle in a big way.

3) Our rival is a fortress-like citadel with a mushroom like shape. Across the roof along a flat part of a wall is "FREEDOM HIGH SCHOOL" in nice letters that spans the entire complex. Some people got the brilliant idea to make two banners, sneak up to the roof, and throw the banner over the wall so it read "Liberty HIGH SCHOOL Forever!". When the student arrived the next morning, they were all shocked to see it. The principal at the time got the great idea to have a little pep rally at the end of the day and have a ceremony to cut down the banners. The perpetrators heard of this and decided that they would join the pep rally pretending to be Freedom students. As they cut the banners down, they went up, grabbed them before they hit the ground and started running (rolling the large banners as they went). They were in turn chased by essentially the entire school. They made it back to a waiting car and sped off without harm. To add insult to injury, we hung the banners on our side of the bleachers the night of the game.

Rivalries are great and I was fortunate to have a good cross town high school rival...

Greece and Turkey....Please!

After and exhausting week and long plane ride, I have returned from a 10 day excursion through the islands of Greece and Turkey. After visiting Rome and Egypt, I wanted to finish out the ancient empires and visit some of the sites in Athens and experience the part of Europe (and Asia Minor) that many people who backpack through Europe don't normally experience.

MY TRAVEL PARTNER:

My travel partner this time was Joe Grzywacz (don't bother trying to pronounce the last name linguists are still arguing over it). Most of my friends don't really know Joe because I met him some time ago while interning at IBM in Burlington, Vermont. Joe went to the University of Illinois and got his degree (bachelors and masters) in Computer Engineering. For a time, Joe was a professional intern hopping about the country and working for the likes of IBM and Intel before settling down in Silicon Valley working for nVidia. I threw the idea of going on a vacation to Joe and he had indicated that he would be interested in going to see the Greek Islands. Since that was my number one choice anyway, very little convincing needed to be done on either side.

Joe proved to be a good travel partner and his eccentricities only added to the trip (which will be explained later).

THE TOUR GROUP:

I once again used Contiki which specializes in 18-35 year olds. I think it's the only tour group in the world that focuses on that age group and it's been a pretty successful business model for them. Our tour leader was Jess Glennon from Australia. She had been away from home doing tours for the past three years and in Athens for just over a year. This was her second to last tour before quitting and returning home to pursue a masters degree in tour management or something like that. I have to admit that I had a little bit of a crush on Jess. She was cute and very laid back. The Australian accent sealed the deal for me because we know I'm a sucker. But nothing came of that.

The group itself numbered about 30 and it was a wide mix of people from America, Canadia, Brazil, Bolivia, Mexico, New Zealand, and of course, Australia. There were two groups of Canadians, one being a couple (the wife being a travel agent). The other group of Canadians were four friends (two married couples) who were pharmacists, had a love for backgammon, and were aboot as Canadian as you get, eh? There were a few Americans representing from the West Coast – Jason, a social worker from Seattle, Melissa from San Jose who was bore a striking resemblance to Amy Poehler. She was traveling with her friend Ellanora from Seattle who was an assistant manager at Starbucks and liked to dance. Then came Cory and Dave from Oregon who worked at Intel. Cory seemed like he was from a different planet but was actually from Kansas. He was very eccentric and lived by his maps and guidebook and was thus dubbed "Lonely Planet" by the rest of the group. We also had Frank who was a recent Ole Miss grad from Nashville. Mike and Susan were a bit older (37 and 31 respectively), insurance adjusters from St. Louis, and made for very good company. Rounding out the American contingent was Supriya, an unemployed lawyer from San Francisco. She quit a high powered law firm and then decided to travel for a while before figuring out what she wants to do next.

Contributing to the international flair of the group was Kristen and Dorothy (?) from Australia who happen to be our neighbors. Alex was another Aussie which we'll discuss a little later. Rounding out the Aussie/New Zealand contingent were four girls, two of which we never really saw or talked to much throughout the week. The other two however proved to be constant source of amusement. They were on their way to London to work as bartenders (naturally) for two years. Alanna (technically from New Zealand) was the most amusing of the bunch as she enjoyed being drunk almost every night. There was Marcel from Brazil and Eduardo from Bolivia who failed to get a multi-entry visa and was thus delayed and had to join the tour group later on in the week. There were three girls from Mexico who were very independent and seemed to have an amazing grasp on the skill of talking. Throughout the whole week, they would be constantly talking about something, first in English then in Spanish. They would provide amusement at various points with their cackle.

As I stated before, the group was a good one. We had the right mix of people we got along with, were apathetic to, could make fun of, and were amused by.

THE SHIP:

The night prior to disembarking on our high seas adventure, Jess informed us that we were pretty lucky because we would be cruising on the Cristal. Despite being named for a very expensive champagne, it was also the best and newest ship in the fleet of three that was owned by Louis Cruise Lines so that was a reassuring thought. We would later learn that the Cristal replaced a ship that sank about two years ago (no one died but there was a Contiki group on it) because the captain apparently had a little too much ouzo and hit a reef…oops.

The ship was technically a "destination ship" which meant that it wasn't a normal cruise ship with all the amenities that one would expect; it's sole purpose was to get passengers from point a to point b. That being the case, the ship was pretty decent. It consisted of 9 decks, a couple of restaurants, a pool lounge/bar, sun deck, and the Starz Disco Lounge which would become nightly hotspot for our crew.

This was my first cruise and I must say that it was an experience. I'm a big fan of boats, I've always loved them and always will. I was curious to see how being on a big boat would fit into that and I've got mixed reviews. The ship is so large that you can easily forget that you are on a boat (if you ignore the subtle-most-of-the-time rocking and listing. We chose to take an inside cabin because it was cheaper and I typically don't have an issue with sea-sickness (note I said typically). Well, we quickly learned that having an inside cabin has two significant downfalls – 1) they are smaller. Our room had to be 6 feet by 15 feet and that included two beds, a dresser, a desk, two closets, and a bathroom with a toilet and shower. Luckily the room was only really needed for changing, sleeping, and showering otherwise I would have gone nuts. Showering in a confined space was interesting because you didn't want water to go and when you gently brushed the shower curtain (which was the only thing separating you from the rest of the bathroom), it took that as an invitation to envelope you and stick to you like a spider web which was very exciting, clean, and comfortable…

The most striking part about the cruise for me was the demographic of the clientele. As soon as I got on the boat, I ask to ask the porter to ensure I was in fact on a boat and not an AARP convention. Our group brought the average age on the boat down by about 30 years. Now, don't get me wrong, I typically don't mind old people – it's just that they have a very different approach to life then people in my age group. I also fully admit that I will be the same way when I hit their age; it's just that I'm thankful I have a long way to go before I get there and I plan to cherish every moment. They get excited about dressing up for fancy dinners on the boat with their sequin gowns and suits, are wide awake at 7am for excursions, and go to bed after the early sitting at dinner. Conversely, no one in our group brought any real nice clothes, slept through most of the excursions, and stayed up until 2-3 in the morning. What cracked me up (or annoyed me depending on the day) was the way they went about the whole cruise experience. These people lived for the excursions and talked about them with a lot of vigor and excitement. They were also very pushy. On more than one occasion, a few of them thought it was appropriate to cut in line at the buffet. My friends in turn politely informed them that there was no need to rush – since the food was included in the tour, there was no Senior Citizen discount that would expire after a certain time.

One group in particular stuck out seeing as they thought it would be in fashion to wear their oversized name badges on their lanyards the whole week, everywhere they went. It was almost as if they got a sense of security from wearing those badges. It made a statement along the lines of "I feel so safe now because if I wander off and get lost, people will know what to do with me and what tour group to send me to". Now personally, I would not choose to wear such a thing on the streets of Instanbul while walking between the mosques. I would much rather prefer to walk around with a T-Shirt that had a big target on it for the pick-pockets and jihad-ists.

If it weren't for the Contiki group, Joe and I would have gone nuts and threw some people overboard. I do need to note that I met some fun old people on the trip from Scotland, Georgia, Florida, and Canadia. However, they were offset by the French Canadians so we'll call it a wash. There was also one crazy person but we shall discuss him in more detail later.

The bottom line is that I'm not cut out for cruises unless I know there will be a contingent of people who are younger than 40 years old. Perhaps it was the type of cruise I was on or the part of the world I was traveling in but I certainly need to do research on any cruise before I sign up for it.

DAY 1: DEPART FOR GREECE

The days leading up to the big trip were very stressful between work and classes. So much so that I was actually not really excited about the trip. I know it sounds ridiculous and I came to my sense later in the week. Hanging out with Aussies really helps you put your life back into perspective and gets you back on the "work to live" philosophy and I really needed that.

Joe's flight was supposed to come into Philadelphia at 11pm but got delayed in Minneapolis and didn't end up landing until after midnight which was exciting. After picking him up, we stopped for some genuine Philly Cheese Steaks at Pat's.

Our Continental flight departed from Newark at 5pm the following day and it was a direct overnight flight to Athens. The flight over was actually pretty smooth for me. Joe had a hard time sleeping but I was able to handle it pretty well with essentially no jet lag.

DAY 2: ARRIVAL IN ATHENS

We arrived in Athens a little past 10 in the morning. As we flew in, I was surprised to see how arid the landscape was in Greece. I was expecting lush, green, landscapes but it was not to be so. What surprised me further later was the fact that certain islands in Greece are extremely abundant in agriculture (fruits, etc.) so the landscape is fairly deceiving.

After we landed, we headed for the train lines and took the Blue Line into Syntagma Square which is a major station in downtown Athens. After the 30 minute train ride, we stepped out into the square and our adventure began. First, we had to resist the temptation of the McDonald's that stood before us in order to seek out our hotel. The Hermes Hotel is situation on 10 Apollonos Street about three blocks from Syntagma. We found is with relative ease and checked in. The Hermes was Joe's first introduction to the concept of the European Hotel. A five star hotel for them (for the most part) is equivalent to the accommodations you would get at an EconoLodge in the United States. The first challenge was getting our luggage up to our room on the fourth floor. This proved to be more difficult than one would think. Perhaps the only thing more unique than European hotel rooms are elevators that take you to said rooms. The elevator was actually a door that we mistook for a closet. We hit the button and say their waiting for a good five minutes. It was then we noticed the Greek lady behind the reception desk staring at us awkwardly. After another minute, a kind gentleman came up to us and told us that we actually had to open the door to the elevator. This was a novel concept to us considering we were waiting for the doors to slide open automatically. Once we deciphered that puzzle, Joe and I decided that we would try and fit ourselves into the 3ft x 3ft elevator (no exaggeration). This also proved to be very difficult. But lo and behold, victory was ours and we arrived at our hotel room only to find our next challenge: how to turn the lights and air conditioning on. It took us about another five minutes to figure out you had to place the room key into a slot by the door to turn everything on. Once you did, the room lit up like magic. Once you removed it, everything turned off. Brilliant.

After getting settled, it was time for me to tackle the bathroom. I'm just going to come out and say it – European bathrooms and I don't get along. It all started in Rome with a bad experience with a bidet that I don't care to recount and has been fairly bad since – be it finding light switches, hot water, or figuring out how to flush the toilet. My bathroom experiences in Greece weren't actually that bad with the following two exceptions. First, there was not shower curtain in our hotel room, just a piece of glass that came out about a quarter of the length of the tub. There was a drain on the main bathroom floor that was supposed to handle the water that splashed everywhere. That, in combination with the hand held showerhead made for a unique experience. The second interesting fact about bathrooms in Greece is that you aren't allowed to flush toilet paper. The sewer system there is so ancient that it can't handle the strain apparently. I had heard rumors of this prior to my arrival but it's not a very great thing to deal with. As an alternative to flushing, every bathroom has a little garbage can next the toilet that you are supposed to use. Great.

After a brief shower and a nap, I would resist the temptation of McDonald's no more. It's not because I'm a McDonald's-a-holic or that I'm an annoying American. It's just that it was close, convenient, and I've eaten at one in nearly every country I've been to if not all. After lunch, Joe and I decided to explore Athens a little bit.

Our first stop was across Syntagma Square to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier which is right in front of Greece's Parliament building. In front of the tomb area is large section of pavement that the pigeons seemed to have conquered and use for the base of operations throughout the city. They flocked around in a circle on the ground and people could walk into their circle, stick out their arms, and the pigeons would fly on them and perch on their shoulders and arms. I initially thought that this would be a neat picture to get but then I realized that it would entail me having pigeons actually on me so I thought better of it. After I got over my fascination with the pigeon flocking, I turned my attention to the tomb.

Two soldiers dressed in traditional garb consisting of Shriners-type hats with long tassels, a beige uniform with a skirt, wool stockings that look like long underwear, and clogs with little pom-poms guard Greece's Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I think that the uniform was one of the reasons that Greece was occupied since ancient times until fairly recently. We happened to arrive just in time for their changing of the guard (which was very interesting). It involvied some ritualistic walking that seemed fit for Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks. While it wasn't anything close to the pomp and circumstance involving the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, it was a nice and unexpected thing to watch. After the guard had changed, everyone took their turn getting pictures with the soldiers who weren't allowed to move. Surprisingly, they let you get right up close and stand next to them.

After watching that, Joe and I decided to go for a walk through the National Gardens adjacent to the Parliament building. It really amounted to a bunch of crisscrossing paths and trees. At the end, we came to a large building with pillars called the Zappion. This serves as a general art and exhibition center. It was empty when we went to take a look but it had some decent architecture with a round open air forum and two levels supported by pillars. The Gardens let out to a street adjacent to the Temple of the Olympian Zeus. Since you had to pay to get in, Joe and I decided we would wait to explore this until our return to Athens later in the week. From the gate, the Temple didn't really look all that impressive as it was simply about six columns standing. In it's day, I'm sure it was magnificent but as with most of the ruins in Greece they were sparse. Most of that was either due to a) the British, b) the Turks, or c) earthquakes.

From the Temple of Zeus, you can easily see the Acropolis which is a pretty neat site from a distance. There is a large rock that protrudes from the ground in the middle of downtown Athens on top of which, the Ancient Greeks built a stone wall and foundation (a big wall) to support the Parthenon and other structures that reside on top of it. We decided that we would head down and take a walk around the Acropolis to get ourselves acclimated. Along the way is a large path with a good number of people walking. Behind us was this woman who was in her late 50's/60's. All of a sudden, you hear a loud bark and you see this woman get very startled as a wild dog comes trotting toward her while barking. I should take a quick aside here and mention that Athens, as well as all of Greece and Turkey have a very high number of wild and stray dogs. They are simply part of the city and lounge anywhere and everywhere. They are harmless as long as you leave them alone and don't pet them. Anyhoo, this lady becomes startled and clutches her purse very close to her chest and picks up her purse. They way she clutch the purse indicated that she seemed to be fearful that the dog was not interested in her (and she would have been a decent meal) but only in stealing her purse. As she stepped off to the side, the dog trotted past her barking, setting his eyes on a much better target, a horse drawing a carriage. He began to run over to it but the man driving the coach was ready. He took out his little whip he uses on the horse and whacked the dog a few times to get away. Now, this wasn't a very strong whip so the dog was excited about this and began to play with the whip like it was a toy. Eventually, the horse and dog combo got out of our sights.

We made our way up and around the Acropolis and began to feel the heat of the day upon us. Athens in general is hot. For some reason, it felt like it was 10 degrees hotter around that area. We climbed up the side and found a rock that overlooks all of Athens. Because it's such a large city, it's hard to see all of Athens at once but the view was impressive, smog and all.

After a pit stop, Joe and I headed back to the hotel for a nap before meeting with the rest of our tour group. While resting we decided to watch International CNN only to find out that the dollar hit a new low against the Euro which was thoroughly exciting for us because our trip had just become a lot more expensive. But we were on vacation so it didn't matter. After our siesta, we met up with the Jess and the gang around 7pm to get some orientation.

After the meet and greet, a few of us went on a little excursion to have an authentic Greek meal at a Taverna in the Plaka area. The Plaka area is the oldest part of Athens that surrounds the Acropolis. It consists of very narrow streets that only motorcycles would be brave to enough to try and lots of shops, tourist and otherwise. It's actually pretty neat walking around the area at night as it hustles and bustles. We sat down at the restaurant in a narrow side room. For 33 Euro, each table got a course sampling and a bottle of wine (the white was better than the red). The meal, as with all Greek meals it seems consisted of a) Greek Salad which is a misnomer because their isn't really any salad in it – just tomatoes, cucumbers, and olives, b) fried Zucchini, c) Beans, and d) the main course of chicken or pork on a stick. Halfway through the meal, these Greek dancers came in and did a little show which was nice. What made the night fun though was that the restaurant was full of Australians who were clapping along and having a great time.

After a nice dinner (and if I'm being honest, the experience was better than the food which is not to say the food was bad), we walked back towards the hotel and most of us carried on to local bar/nightclub called Lavabora that Jess knew about. We arrived around 10pm and the place was absolutely empty. The setting was actually pretty cool – an open area mainly with a large bar and a DJ on the second floor. We all have a beer and a shot of Metaxa which is a Greek brandy. After about a half an hour, young Greeks began to pour in and fill the place up making it quite a lively spot. Greeks (and Europeans in general) don't really start their night until 10pm – midnight. What was funny about the scene was the most of the people in the club looked like they were 18. After some drinking and dancing, we decided to make our way back to the hotel for a good rest seeing as we didn't have to get up until a bit later the next day.

DAY 3: DEPARTURE

After an easy morning (and a terrible breakfast), the crew met to head down to the port of Piraeus where we would meet our boat, the M/V Cristal. After a short bus ride to the port, our appreciation for not having to drive anywhere in Athens grew exponentially. We all got corralled into the passport inspection area and all of us passed through without problems except Eduardo from Bolivia. He apparently needed a multi-entry visa for Greece and did not have one. Sadly, he would have to stay behind and meet us later in the week at one of our stops.

Joe and I boarded and headed to our closet…err…room and off-loaded our stuff. We found out that drinks were not included in our trip so we had to choose between paying per drink or getting an all-inclusive drink pass for 18 euros a day. I was on the fence with this because I didn't really think I could hit that target and break even. However, they had an annoying rule that stated if someone in a cabin gets the all-inclusive, everyone in the cabin had to. Now Joe was all excited about injecting himself with as much alcohol as possible. So, being the good friend I am, I gave in and got it. In the end, I think I came fairly close to breaking even whereas Joe's consumption caused the cruise line to file for bankruptcy.

The first day/night on the boat was free as we set sail for Istanbul. All of use went to work on hitting our 18 euro per day target with no food until dinner at 9pm which perhaps wasn't the wisest of decisions. Also that night, we hit a major storm on the Aegean Sea which led to really rocky seas (the staff rated it an 8 out of 10 with 10 being the absolute worst). The combination of the above two did not sit well with Marc. I tried to give dinner a try but didn't even get past the soup before I had to visit the bathroom. It was so bad that half of our group didn't even make dinner and the reception desk was giving out free Dramamine. After getting my complimentary pill, I retired early and was gently rocked to sleep.

DAY 4: ARRIVAL IN ISTANBUL

Early in the morning, we were awoken by our multilingual cruise director. A few times a day, we would hear a pleasant charm (not as pleasant early in the morning) and she would begin everything with "Ladies and Gentlemen, a very good morning to you…". She would go through her announcement and when she finished, she did it again in Spanish and then in French without missing a beat. While this wasn't bad the first time, it was particularly early. As the week went on, her announcements began to last five minutes and then had to be multiplied by 3 as she did it in each language. Regardless, this morning she was informing us that we were entering the Dardanelles and were about to pass a few monuments commemorating the efforts of Australian/New Zealand soldiers and Turkish soldiers in WWI. I decided to roll out of bed and head up to the deck to take a couple pictures of the fairly plain stone monuments. Unimpressed, I went back to bed to be awoken once again by the cruise director announcing that we were passing a mountain or something that seemed insignificant at the time. It was Joe's turn to get up to see if it was anything significant and it wasn't.

Later in the day, I was sitting on the deck with Frank and an older Australian woman came up to us and started talking to us about the monuments we saw in the morning and explained their significance (and I'm glad she did). The monuments were meant to commemorate the landing of Australian and New Zealand troops (ANZAC – Australia and New Zealand Armed Corps.) WWI was the first time that these countries sent troops into war under their own flag and it was a very big deal to them. It turned out that they had landed at the wrong beach and were totally massacred (after taking quite a few Turks with them). The countries were heartbroken and honored their men as heroes. More importantly, it signified their independence to the world and was the basis for the ANZAC holiday that they celebrate today.

We passed the rest of the day by just relaxing, hanging out, and drinking. I eventually got involved in teaching some of the foreigners Rummy. The time passed fairly quickly as we began to approach Istanbul. I headed up to the top deck to watch our approach. As we approached, the Blue Mosque and the Hagia Sophia dominated the background as you cruise past them on your way to the port.

Unfortunately, the weather was poor since we set sail and the forecast for our time in Istanbul didn't look great but all turned out fairly well. Around 5pm, we began to approach the city. If you are going to go to Istanbul, arriving by boat is the way to go. The city is impressive in its scale as it hugs the coastline for miles and miles as you approach the city center. Istanbul is unique in that it is the only city to span two continents. On the left as you approach the city is the European side and the commercial center of the city. Across a bridge is the Asian side of the city where most of the residential area is.

We pulled into port and it was time for our first excursion – a night out in Istanbul. One of the biggest disappointments of the trip was the fact that we were going to spend most of the day Sunday touring Istanbul. While this doesn't sound terrible, it means that the Grand Bazaar was going to be closed. Since we pulled into port on Saturday, they were going to try and bus us out to the Grand Bazaar that evening for a little experience. However, because the sea was so choppy the night before that our arrival was delayed. Since we didn't pull into port until 6:00, it would have been impossible to get to the Grand Bazaar before it closed at 7. Instead, we were taken to the smaller and closer Spice Market.

When we arrived, there was a large tent set up next to the market with a long line a people in front of it. It turned out that we were there in the middle of Ramadan. Since Turkey is 99% Muslim, it's a pretty big deal. The downside is that people can't eat between sunrise and sunset but the upside is that the party starts after sunset. There are huts and stands everywhere that feed people. The tent in front of us was to feed the poor people as there is a heavy focus on helping poor people. During Ramadan, there are lights strung between the minarets of the Mosques that give messages such as the one in our general area: "Yoksulu Gözet" which is Turkish for "Help the poor".

Moving past that, we entered the Spice Market which is in the shape of a "T". It's a pretty standard market with people trying to get you into their shops and make a deal. The unique thing about the Spice Market is that is focuses on spices and very fresh spices. Everywhere you turn, we see vibrant colors that represent all sorts of spices that were brought in that day with Turkish Delights in the backdrop. While the Turkish Viagra was tempting, we tried to push through and see as much of the market as we could given our limited time. We (Joe, Alex, and I) eventually came to this one shop and started talking to this one guy. It turned out his name was "Dennis" (not a very Turkish name but oh well) and he had a stud in his ear that said "Fuck Off" on it (he was a very customer service oriented person). After small talk and the "where are you from" exchange, I eventually asked him how business was going and he said it was terrible. He told us that it would be better if he had a girl to stand out in front to attract customers. I immediately volunteered Alex and a look of terror appeared on her face. Dennis was excited about this prospect and offered to have her move in with him and his family and promised to take care of her. We finished our conversation and walked away before Alex had a massive heart attack.

We came to another guy on the way out who was selling Turkish Tea and Turkish delights. He comes up to me and starts putting this stuff in my arms, telling me how much I like them and what a good deal they were for the price he was asking. I start laughing and begin to try and sell them to the next person that walked by for the same price. He laughs and takes them back from me.

We exited the Spice Market just as they were calling prayer out over the city which is always exciting for me to experience. We headed back on the bus so we could go back to the boat to begin our next excursion that evening.

There were a handful of us and we shared a bus with some of the older passengers who were immediately annoyed with us. The tour guide who went with us was actually pretty cool. He, along with many others in Turkey (and Egypt for that matter), used the word "please" a lot. In fact, he interjected at least once in every sentence. For example: "Please, if you will please notice the soccer stadium to your left please. It is home to Besiktas please; a very popular team here in Istanbul please." We immediately hooked onto that and from this point forward, we would all use the work please as many times as possible please. He also extended the "s" at the end of his words which became important when he used the word "drinks". It sounded something like "drinksssssssssssss" which we also repeatedly echoed throughout the trip much to the disappointment of the old people. We got so rowdy on the bus ride that one gentlemen bellowed: "No drinkssssss for anyone under 50." We consequently booed him loudly.

We finally arrived at our destination, Kervansaray, the "Turkish restaurant and night club". If it wanted to be more accurate it should have read "Turkish Tourist Trap" or even T3 for short. We arrive and cram in like cattle and the show begins. I will say that one of the highlights of the night was the belly dancing. Unlike what I saw in Egypt, these were real belly dancers with many, errr, talents. The best was Asena who is purportedly the most famous belly dance in all of Turkey (a fact that was confirmed by our tour guide). When asked what I liked the most, I easily answered Asena. The girls poked fun at the fact that the guys liked her because of her "talents" but Joe wisely quipped that we like her because she had a lot of charisma. We thus nicknamed Asena "Charisma" and referred to her as such for the remainder of the evening.

Between the belly dancers, they had some people come out and do some traditional dancing from various parts of Turkey. Most of them were actually kind of lame but there was one group that was actually pretty good – these three guys that jumped, kicked, and spun a lot. Now, I'm sure that I'm not doing the history and tradition that went into that dance any justice by describing it simply as jumping, spinning, and kicking, but it gets the point across. At the end of the show (after the belly dancer with the finger cymbals) a guy came out and was a typical lounge singer which cemented the notion of tourist trap in my mind. This guys' act was to sing a song in the languages of all of the people present. For the Americans, he sang "This Land is Your Land" and as is typical with Americans, no one knew the words other than the singer. He then went over to the French Canadians and asked "What country are you from?" to which they replied "Quebec". Now, I may be wrong here but last time I checked, Quebec had not won their civil war and were still part of Canada. He in turn sang Freres Jaques. He also sang songs, for people from Mexico, New Zealand (in Ma'ori), South Africa (Zulu), Korean, Romania, and Brazil (Portuguese). While it was impressive that he knew songs in those languages, it was still a bit campy but the old people ate it up and loved it.

On the way back, we were a little rowdy. Spurred on by the wait staff's amazing ability to use the word please, we kicked our mockery into overdrive. It got so bad that this cranky lady piped up and sarcastically asked "so who's winning the 'please' competition?" We said that we didn't know but we were glad that she joined in…

After we arrived back at the port, I had planned to go find Jess and some other tour mates at a sheesha (spelling?) bar somewhere near the port. Everyone copped out "to go to bed" except Alex who joined me on my excursion. We had some rough directions and headed off into the bustling town (the level of bustling surprised us because it was midnight). In retrospect, it probably wasn't wise to head out into this ridiculously large city so late at night without a larger group but hey, I like to live dangerously. The directions turned out to be a little spottier than usual and we were quickly unsure of our destination. We ended up walking entirely too far and ended up at a bridge that we knew was too far away. On the way back, we walked by the waterfront where countless people were fishing…in the dark…at midnight. We eventually found the row of sheesha bars and they were jammed with people. We couldn't find our crew so we decided to just walk through. Sheesha bars intrigue me – perhaps it's the exotic nature of it or the fact that it's so unique to that area of the world. These places are typically wide areas with pillows on the floor where people just hang out and smoke. It's not like smoking cigarettes and the tobacco doesn't have the normal chemicals that most tobacco does. The funny thing about this place was that there were about seven or eight bars connected to one another so it was just a long area of people smoking and playing backgammon – a lot of backgammon. It's VERY popular in Turkey.

We finally arrived back at the ship (safe and alive) to find that our tour mates did not actually go to bed but got some drinks and headed up to the disco lounge. We hung out for a bit and then went to bed in preparation for our big tour of Istanbul the next day.

DAY 5: ISTANBUL

After a late night, we were all fairly groggy the next morning. The good news was that almost everyone in our group went on the excursion so we had a bus to ourselves. The bad news was that our tour guide was absolutely terrible. We started our day by driving over the bridge to the Asian side of the city which is mostly residential. The cost of living in the city is apparently outrageously high. A house that would sell for $250,000 here in Pennsylvania would sell easily for $4 million USD in Istanbul! The trip to the Asian side was fairly uneventful other than we could say that we were on two continents in one day while staying in one city (which is exciting in its own right). From there, we went to the Blue Mosque which was built to compete with the Hagia Sophia (a very old church that sits next to it). It has six minarets which is fairly rare in Mosques. The story goes that the Sultan wanted a structure built that would dwarf the Hagia Sophia and one of the ways he wanted to do this was to make minarets out of gold. The architect knew that this was not possible from a structural standpoint. The architect also knew that if he told the Sultan it couldn't be done, he would lose his head (talk about a lose-lose situation). However, the architect was clever in that he built six minarets. His saving grace was that the word for "six" and the word for "gold" are extremely similar in that one letter is different. When the Sultan came to inspect his new Mosque, he was furious to see six minarets. The architect explained that he was told and understood six which was not his fault. He went on to explain that gold wasn't possible and the Sultan agreed that his decision was the correct one.

As you approach the Blue Mosque, there were rows of little huts that are put up just for Ramadan. Apparently, the area turns into a carnival-like atmosphere with food and games. At the entrance to the courtyard are two obelisks that were taken from Egypt (obviously).

It has been my experience that Mosques are more interesting on the outside than on the inside whereas Churches are at times the opposite (not the take away from Church exteriors and Mosque interiors). The Blue Mosque is still in use today so we had to take our shoes off and show the proper respect as their were people praying inside. The Blue Mosque gets its name from the millions of little blue tiles that make up mosaic-like decorations inside. Other than that, it was fairly standard inside: plush carpet, wide open, and a wall that faces Mecca. The women are not allowed to pray or worship near the men so as not to be a distraction. Instead, they must stay in a quarantined area in the back or on the second floor balconies.

After exiting the Blue Mosque, you get a good view of the Hagia Sophia which we wouldn't get to see until a bit later. Instead, we were carted off to another tourist trap – a Turkish Rug maker. It is obvious that these excursions are designed for older people because they have money to spend and people are willing to take it from them. We all go into this store and up to the top floor into a large room. We are served some Turkish Tea while the sales guy explains how Turkish Rugs are made and how to tell if they are genuine. The rugs he shows us are outrageously priced but not worse than what you would pay in the United States for one. At one point he showed us a $25,000 rug that was quite elaborate. I've always failed to see the attraction to Turkish rugs but I tried not to spill my tea on them nonetheless.

After the demonstration, we had a ridiculous amount of free time to do nothing. I ventured out and ended up at the Grand Bazaar which was closed because it was Sunday. There were a few shops open so I meandered about. We all got back on the bus and headed back towards the Blue Mosque to the Hagia Sophia (in Greek, it stands for "Holy Wisdom"). The Hagia Sophia was a church built in the 400's so it's a built old. Given that fact and it's massive size, it was quite impressive. After the fall of the Byzantine empire, a sultan turned it into a Mosque and built four minarets around it. Today, however, it has been converted into a museum for everyone to enjoy.

As you walk into the Sophia, you are greeted by massive doors and a sign that tells in Byzatine times, only emperors were allowed to pass through them. The interior is quite impressive. Adding to its intrigue is the Islamic decoration in a church architecture. The coming together of these two very different religions makes a pretty cool experience.

After the Sophia, we went back to the boat for lunch before leaving once again, this time for Topkapi Palace – the residence of the Sultans. The word palace I think is a bit of a misnomer because it isn't what you would expect. Nonetheless, it's unique and expansive. It is dominated by four courtyards and surrounded by numerous buildings that house the armory, the treasury, the library, the portrait gallery, the harem, the receiving room, the circumcision room; the list goes on and on.

As we walked through, the unthinkable happened and it deserves a side note here: my camera died. After 16 countries, 40 states, and 5500 pictures, it decided to have a multiple coronary. The shudder would constantly convulse until I took the batteries out. While it would let me get a couple more pictures off later in the week, it was pretty much a goner. I can't fault it – it's been good to me and provided me a lot of memories but it would have been great if it would have waited a few more days. Thankfully, Joe had a little digital camera he let me borrow for the rest of the week and he had his $5,000 of camera equipment on him.

Back to the story - I went down to the treasury first and there were some impressive things in there. Namely, they had an 86 carrot diamond that was known as the Spooner's Diamond. Apparently, someone foud this diamond unfinished in the trash. Not knowing what it was, he sold it to the local spooner (now there's a profession!) for three spoons. The Spooner in turn sold it to someone who recognized its value who in turn gave/sold it to the Sultan. The Sultan named it the Spooner's Diamond in honor of the guy that bought it for three spoons (and most likely never really profited from it as he should have). They also had the skull and arm of John the Baptist (encrusted in jewels). The thing about the Sultan and his people were that they really liked jewels and they really liked to encrust things in jewels. After the treasury, I went over to the portrait gallery where they had paintings of all of the Sultans from the early 1200's. The interesting thing was that with the exception of hair and beard style, all of the Sultans looked exactly the same; it was quite odd. A funny story about the Sultans – they had a lot of wives/harems/whatever-you-want-to-call-them. Well, it was commonly understood that the eldest son from any of the women would become the Sultan upon their father's death. Further, once that occurred, it was accepted practice for that son to then kill all of his siblings so they couldn't make a move for the throne. This led to a lot of jockeying by the woman so that their child would be eldest. For this to happen, there were a lot of arranged murders on the eldest sons. Eventually, one of the Sultans would be humane and abolish that practice but for a while, they took sibling rivalry to a whole new level.

After the portrait gallery, it was off the armory which was pretty cool. These people really new how to make weapons that would effectively beat their enemies to smithereens. Sharp objects, blunt objects, it didn't matter – they knew how to kill people. They were actually early adopters of firearms as well with really, really oversized rifles.

I was finished with Topkapi and decided to go mourn the loss of my camera in peace and wait for the tour group. While I was walking a little girl decided to go up and pet one of the cute wild doggies. This was not wise. The dog went nuts and lunged at her causing her to retreat screaming. The dog ran off when a vendor threw a water bottle at him as the girl cried learning a valuable lesson – leave the wild dogs alone.

Our day in Istanbul was complete and we were back on the ship heading to our next destination. That evening, the whole group hit up the Starz Disco Lounge and we had a blast dancing the night away with Mosques in the background as we cruised away. At one point in the night, this older woman from Georgia came onto the dance floor and tapped me on the shoulder. She kindly asked me if I would show her how to dance. After showing her a few of my patented moves and having a blast, we got to talking. It turns out that her daughter-in-law works for Lehigh University. It was crazy to me that while in Turkey, halfway across the world, I met someone who knew someone so close to home. The rest of the night was a blast with everyone having a great time.

DAY 6: MYKONOS

The next day, we arrived at Mykonos – the European vacation spot. As it happens, it is also the gay European hotspot. About 1.2 million people pass through Mykonos in tourist season and that's a tremendous amount of people considering it's a pretty small island. Mykonos is part of the Cyclades which is a chain of islands in Greece. All of the islands in this chain have a similar architectural style in that all buildings (as required by law) need to be whitewashed with blue domes. It was neat to see everything be so consistent. A few people were bold and painted the accent color on their homes something other than blue but they apparently pay fines every year. While there aren't many stray dogs on Mykonos, there are a lot cats which are revered by the residents and are protected by law. One of the immediate observations anyone can make about Mykonos is that it's windy. And not just windy, it's really windy. So much so that it's one of the premiere wind surfing spots in all of Europe.

We spent a bit of time walking through the winding, narrow streets looking at a few shops which was pretty neat. The streets themselves are about 3-4 wide and are shared by people, motorcycles, and the occasional brave car. I had my Penn State shirt on that day and this random woman came up to me all excited and told me that she graduated from there. It really is a small world.

As we walked towards the town we began to see the gay influence on the island – I've never seen so many rainbows before and the Ramrod Club had an ominous presence in the town square. As we walked on, we rain into a very, very large pelican relaxing on the beach. We learned that this was Petros, the island mascot. In fact, there are four Petros' and they are trying to breed them to create the next generation (unsuccessfully – the running joke on the island is that all four are gay). The birds are very tame and let people pet them and the residents love them.

Everywhere you go in Mykonos (and on most of the islands), you find a lot of Churches. It turns out there is this convenient Greek law that decrees you don't have to pay taxes if you have a church on your property. Naturally, everyone builds churches that aren't ever used. There is one very famous church in the Greek Orthodox religion that is in Mykonos – the church of Panagia (Virgin Mary) Parapotiani. Again, it isn't actually ever used which doesn't make sense to me but it's there and it's famous. As you walk past the church, you pass "Little Venice" which is a cluster of buildings that have balconies that hang over the waterfront. Beyond that are Mykonos' famous windmills.

While most of the old folks spent the day walking through the small town, our group took a bus up to Paradise Beach on the other side of the mountain. Mykonos has a lot of beaches but two of them are fairly well known – Super Paradise Beach (the nude gay beach) and Paradise Beach (the normal and sometimes nude beach), Paradise Beach is pretty famous so we went for a relaxing day on the beach. The bus ride was interesting in that the driver looked like a crazy guy with buggy eyes, a cracked-tooth smile, and shaggy gray hair who greeted everyone with "Hella Hella Hella" which is the Greek word for hello. While waiting in line for the bus, we met a girl from New Jersey (like the French, you just can't escape them). She thought it was the coolest thing in the world that she had an Atlantic City Beach Patrol hat on and thought it necessary to try and make people guess what ACBP stood for. When no one knew (imagine that), they were unimpressed and stared blankly at her when she told them. Being from New Jersey, she couldn't comprehend that people could care less but I found the whole thing amusing if not slightly sad.

Anyway, we arrive at Paradise Beach and park ourselves in front of the Tropicana Bar. The beach has umbrellas and beach chairs which can be rented for a mere four euros (3 extra for an umbrella). We decided to go to the Tropicana and have a Gyro. After enjoying our meal, we were informed that there was going to be a party at 5pm at the bar which we obliged. I went for a walk and ran into the Mexican girls in our tour group. While on a rock chatting, we observed, much to our dismay, an overweight old man (mid-late 60's) got out of the water, very naked. While this could have been bad enough, he proceeded to go over to a rock face protruding out of the beach to do some exercises. After some vertical push-ups and leg stretches, we got thoroughly disgusted enough to move on.

I headed back down the beach to where the rest of the crew was and decided to go for a swim. The water a little cold at first but you got used to it really quickly. After the swim, 5 o'clock was upon us and it was time for the dance party to get started. Initially, I sat with a couple of folks and watched. Then came the so-called elephant man – a local celebrity of sorts who comes every day and dances for a bit. Let me set the stage for you – picture a leathery, tan man in his 80's with what looks like a toupee; he is wearing nothing more than a worn out old G-String that barely covers his hoo-ha. He gets up on a table and starts to dance (old age limits his movements somewhat). If a girl goes up and dances with him, they will get a free shot from the bar. The beach was a little sparse because it was off season but there was one volunteer – an African American woman from Philadelphia. Watching the elephant man was like watching a train wreck – it was terrible but you just had to watch.

We decided to get up and dance for a bit and were pleasantly surprised to find that the bar gave out free shots to people who were dancing every five minutes or so. After we tired ourselves out we sat down again and some folks ordered a drink called "The Devil's Tongue" which was a combination of various types of high-proof alcohol. I had a sip and it was STRONG! Needless to say, a few of our group got pretty lit up as we were heading out. We went to wait for the bus and our crazy bus driver returned to take us back to town. The bus itself was packed with people as we zipped through narrow windy roads. I felt like all we needed on the bus was a couple of caged chickens and the craziness of the ride would have been complete.

We ended up back in town and were greeted by yet stronger winds. Since we were cold and tired, we decided to head back to the bus that would take us to the boat a little early. After a quick shower, we were relaxing on the pool deck chatting with the waiters as we listened to our friends' names being paged repeatedly. Apparently, they had too good of a time at Paradise Beach and were late getting back to the boat. It was a pretty close call actually as they started to page Jess to call reception. Thankfully, everyone got on at the last minute (if not, it would have been an expensive helicopter ride to the next island). One of the New Zealand girls, drunk, was recounting her adventures trying to get back to the boat. As she was describing how she flagged down a random bus for help, she animatedly threw arms in the air. Just as she did that, the boat turned; it wasn't just a normal turn, it was one of those turns where something is really wrong – the ship groaned, the plates fell off the tables and shattered, and this girl flew back in her chair, her drink glass shattered on the floor, and she slid a good couple of feet before hitting her head on some tables. She stood up and continued her story, most likely too drunk to realize what happened to her.

The rest of the night was spent, of course, at the Starz Disco Lounge. This would prove to be a poor decision because we stayed up until 2/3am and had to be up for a 7am excursion the following morning. Thus would be the schedule for the rest of the week.


DAY 6: PATMOS, KU--ADSI, AND EPHESUS

After a late night of dancing, most of us were up really early to hike with Jess up to St. John's monastery in Patmos. Patmos used to be an open-air prison and John (as well as Paul, I believe) were exiled there when they were arrested for preaching in Ephesus. When John was exiled there, it was purported that he wrote the book of Revelation in a cave on the hillside. We all began our 45 minute climb up to the top of the island where a monastery built in John's honor stood like a fortress. We made it up the top where a little village surrounded the building. The monastery itself was fairly plain because well, it was a monastery. There was one room though that was filled with ornate metal work and various pictures of saints in the true Greek Orthodox style.

I wanted to see the cave where John supposedly wrote Revelation so I left the monastery a bit early. I of course got lost on the path back down because we took a shortcut on the way up. When I stumbled upon the shortcut on the way down, I realized I had gone too far and turned around to see the building surrounding the cave a good way back up the mountain. Disgruntled, I turned around and finally made it to the cave. You descend down a couple flights of stairs before you come to the entrance of the cave. Once inside there are some paintings and ornate objects (candle holders, etc.) decorating the place. On the ground is a half sphere dug out of the rock face where John laid his head to rest and a little hole that was supposedly used as a hand grip. The legend goes that John was blind at the time he wrote Revelation.

While exiting the cave, I met a few other folks from the tour and we walked back down the mountain together and got back on the ship. We were off to our second stop in Turkey: Ku--adasi
(pronounced koosh-a-da-see) and Ephesus. As you pulled into Port, Ku--adasi looks like a fairly standard town. We learned that it is full of vacation homes for the Brits and Irish and that would be evident as we walked through the Bazaar later on. We boarded a bus to head straight to Ephesus and along the way we passed Adaland which the tour guide (Ahmed) told us was the largest water park in Europe. This was interesting considering this part of Turkey was classified as Asia. He also called the water slides "sliders".

We arrived at the top of Ephesus and learned some interesting facts about it. The ancient city of Ephesus was once the largest city in that part of Asia with a population of 25,000 people. The city sloped down a mountain side and ended at the waterfront where ships would sail in. This was an interesting fact to note because we had spent at least 30 minutes driving over land to get here. Over time, silt deposits and receding waters would leave the base of the city dry. In fact, that would be one of the contributing causes of Ephesus' ultimate demise along with earthquakes and the rise of Istanbul.

The top of the city was meant for aristocrats and politicians and commoners weren't allowed to go up to that part of the city. There were two pillars that stood as gates to the upper part that had Hercules carved on them meant to serve as a warning for people to not cross them. As you descended into the city, you learned how advanced these people were. Most of the homes had central heating and air conditioning (obviously not the kind we have today but ancient equivalents). You also had a complex sewer system with complex clay pipes that you can still see today. The toilets were essentially benches with holes in them. Along where your feet were was a trench that water ran through that people of the time would scoop up with their hand and use to clean themselves after they did their duty.

As you walked down the path, you came across the most significant portion of Ephesus, the front of the library. It is a two tiered structure that has Roman Architecture written all over it – arches, marble, and columns. It was quite impressive given its age. It was located close to the Roman bathhouse which was essentially a brothel at the time. We were told that they had found secret passages running from the library to the bathhouse. Apparently, men would tell their wives that they "had to go the library" but they clearly had other plans.

As you move past the library, you come across the open-air theatre which was really impressive. The rule of the time was that theatres had to seat 1/10 of the total population of the city which meant that this theatre sat 2,500 people so you can imagine it was quite large. What was great about it was that they still hold concerts in there today (I'd love to see that!)

As we headed towards the exit, there would bathrooms that are often referred to as Wash Closets or W.C.'s. This one cost €0.50 which wasn't out of the ordinary. What was funny about it was that there was a large sign that had a picture of a little boy sitting on the potty with words circling him that said "Only 0.50 is enough to experience the magic atmosphere".

As you exit the city, you come out into a market where people are immediately trying to get you into their shop. There were two people who stood out to me. The first was a guy who had a huge sign in front of his shop that said "Genuine Fake Watches". He walked around shouting "Genuine fake watches here! Come! Please come see my rubbish!". The other guy didn't have a shop but was walking around carrying boxes of Turkish Delights. We were waiting by the bus and he comes up to us in a bellowing voice and says "Turkish Delight! Turkish Delight here! I am Turkish Delight, who wants me?"

On the way back to Ku--adasi, we were told that we were going to stop by a leather store and see a fashion show. Immediately we were skeptical but we had little choice in the matter. Turkey is famous for their leather goods and exports them all over the world. We arrive at this store and get corralled into a room with a runway. The nice part about these tourist traps is that they give you tea so I'm usually tolerant. I was expecting a really cheesy fashion show but I must say, it was quite professional with some very attractive models. They even had the professional model walk down with the pivots and everything. We all started to laugh when they started to play "Smack That" by Akon because that happened to be our theme song of the week at the Starz Disco Lounge.

After the show, we were funneled into the leather store and offered "good price" on everything. I actually came close to buying a jacket but realized I didn't have to spend $250 on a jacket in Turkey. A few of our other tour mates weren't able to resists as effectively and one girl ended up buying two jackets.

We headed back into town with some free time to walk around the Ku--adasi Bazaar. Joe and I ended up getting separated so I had some time to myself to explore. In the markets, the Turks employed a new trick that I didn't see in Egypt which was a bit clever. They would come out of their shop and go to shake your hand. When you reciprocated, they wouldn't let go and would in fact pull you into their shop without letting go. I feel victim to this but it was ok because I wanted to buy a T-Shirt. He had the one I wanted and tried to sell it to me for €15. After much haggling and to the disappointment of the clerk, I ended up buying it for €5 (you have to love those end-of-season sales). When I got pulled into the shop, Joe kept walking despite the guy sitting outside trying to get his attention "Hey! Hey you! Hey, Texas!" When traveling abroad and American, you must be comfortable with the fact that you are either from New York City or Texas – Joe got Texas because he is tall I guess.

I ended up walking through most of the Bazaar a couple of times and ran into one guy and we started talking. I asked how business was and he said not terrible. He also said he was getting ready to close shop for the season and go back home to his family. I was surprised by this because I had assumed that he had lived in Ku--adasi. Instead, his family lived in Serbia and he comes here in the tourist season to make money and goes home in the winter. My shock was visible to him and he said "You must be from America. Let me tell you something, Please, be glad that you are from America. It is a good place and you have many opportunity there – don't ever take it for granted." I took that to heart because I do apparently take it for granted.

I walked a bit more and ran into another guy who tried to get me to buy a T-Shirt. I told him I already had one. His interest peaked and he asked which one. I showed him and he said I could buy another one and he would give me a good deal. I told him that I'm a hard bargainer and he asked how much I paid for the one I had. I told him €5. He smiled, patted me on the back, and said "Have a nice day". When exiting Ku--adasi to head back to the ship, they make you walk through this labyrinth of upscale stores which would normally be fine except that it really is a labyrinth and most people got lost wandering around.

Back on the ship, it was time for dinner. Joe was feeling a bit punchy that evening and decided he would make his mark. For the evening, his attire consisted of a sport coat, dress pants, shoes, socks, and tie – no shirt. He even went so far to shave off the little chest hair-fuzz he had. Initially, you couldn't tell he wasn't wearing a shirt but if you took an extra second to look at him, you would know. My bet was that he was going to get asked to leave the dining room but once the wait staff realized but to my surprise, they didn't really seem to mind and the headwaiter thought it was amusing. Half-way through dinner, we convinced Joe to take off his jacket so all that remained was the tie. We arranged to have a friend steal the jacket and take it out of the dining room forcing Joe to walk out in all of his shirtless glory. Most of the people in the dining room seemed to be amused by our youthful antics with exception of this table of women. Upon seeing Joe, they put their hands over their mouth with what was perhaps the best look of disgust on their face that I had ever seen. Joe of course smiled and waved hello to them as we all laughed.

It should be noted that there was a person of interest on the boat that caught our interest. He was a bald, tan man in his mid to late 50's. He was from some other country based on the fact that he didn't speak English and wore capri's. What was unique about this particular gentleman was that he founda T-Shirt that he liked in the Ku--adasi market that consisted of a Starbucks logo that had "F$%! Off" written on it where Starbucks should have been. Now, don't get me wrong, I would expect and perhaps even be mildly amused by a disgruntled 16 year-old wearing a shirt like that but not a guy in his mid-50's. What made it even more incredible was that he wore it two nights in a row to dinner. Joe, also amused by this gentleman's seeming lack of social awareness, seized the opportunity to go up this person while shirtless to tell him that he liked his shirt. When we went up the guy and said "nice shirt", some other guy behind him told Joe "Yeah, you too".

The rest of the night, once again, was spent at the Starz Disco.

DAY 7: RODOS, NOT RHODES

After a late night at the Starz, we were all very tired and grumpy as we got up at the butt-crack of dawn for an excursion on the island of Rodos which is commonly and incorrectly referred to as Rhodes. Our tour guide had this funny yet peculiar habit where he ended every sentence with an up-tone like he was asking it as a question. We slept through most of his lecture on the way to Lindos. Upon arrival, we walked down the hill to the pleasant little town of Lindos which was pretty typical of Greek Island towns. We then climbed up through the town to the Acropolis of Lindos that sits on top of the city.

The Acropolis, like most Greek Ruins were sparse and you have to use your imagination but it was a nice setting overlooking the sea. Along the base of the mountain/cliff/what-have-you was a circular lagoon with a small entrance. In ancient times, it was said that ships fleeing the Romans could duck into this lagoon and escape capture. After spending some time at the Acropolis in the intense heat, we descended through the town and headed back to the bus.

On the way back to the main town, we stopped at another tourist trap – a ceramic place. One quick note about the tourist traps – they at least were representative of the skills that the locals on the island were known for. Rodos was apparently known for good ceramics so we went to a studio where this guy made a vase out of a lump of clay and it was fairly impressive. After he finished it, we got a lecture on the properties of the pottery and a demonstration on how strong they are (by rubbing a quarter on them repeatedly and banging it on a table). Then we were graciously allowed in the store to peruse the goods.

Having no interest and starting to feel sick, I waited outside inhaling the exhaust from the bus until we were on our way back to the main town. As we drove, I could feel my head getting more stuffy which was not a good sign, especially combined with the sore throat I now had.

The main town of Rodos (the "Old Town") was fairly interesting. It had a definite medieval flair to it from when it was occupied by the Venetians and was slightly reminiscent of Sienna, Italy. The Old Town has a wall built around it and for the most part, cars are not allowed to drive through unless they reside within its confines. The centerpiece of the town is a castle that upon initial glance, one would assume was very old. In actuality, an explosion set by invaders destroyed the original castle. When Greece fell to fascist Italy, they thought it would be nice to build a nice home and tribute to their fearless if not stumpy leader Mussolini. Thus, the castle that sits on the island today is a product of WWII Italian architects and has little to do with the original that sat there.

After a walk-through of the Old Town, we headed back to the boat for lunch. Most of the tour folks took a 20 minute walk to a beach to relax but I went to bed to try to sleep off the head cold that was coming on something fierce.

The rest of the day was actually pretty relaxing. After my [fairly long] nap, I just hung out with a few people until dinner and then, of course, the Starz Disco Lounge complete with a limbo competition that I did not win.

DAY 8: CRETE AND SANTORINI

Once again, we stayed up too late the night before and had a difficult time getting up for our early morning excursion to Crete. This time, we were off the Palace of Knossos. It wasn't really so much a palace as a large area with short stone walls that were less than a glimpse of it's former glory. It is widely believe that the Minoans (named after their King, Minos – pronounced mee-nose) were the first civilization to inhabit Europe. They had strong relationships with the Egyptians and engaged in a lot of trade. Their sport was interesting – men would run up to bulls, grab their horns, and flip over them. Certainly nothing that I would partake in but hey, to each his own – what else are you going to occupy your time with when you are the first civilization on a continent?

No one is sure exactly how the palace looked but the conceptual renderings show a massive palace with multiple stories that covers a whole lot of ground. Most of what exists today has been rebuilt based on architectural evidence. The palace (and the civilization that lived in it) were mostly destroyed by earthquakes with the final blow coming in 1700 BC when Santorini blew up (more on that in a bit). The Minoans spread out into Asia Minor and are believed to have become the Philistines.

The Minoans and the Palace of Knossos was made famous by the legend of the minotaur and his labyrinth. Today, no evidence has been found of such labyrinth. It is believed that the massive size and complexity of the palace along with their fascination with bulls led to the legend. The reason the bull was so prominent was because of the legend of the King. He wanted a bull to sacrifice so he asked Poseidon to send him one to sacrifice. Poseidon cooperated and sent him a beautiful white bull. Minos adored the bull and did not sacrifice it sacrificing instead on of his bulls. This naturally pissed Poseidon off so he made Minos' wife fall in love with the white bull. One thing led to another, a couple of drinks were thrown in the mix, and Minos' wife was pregnant with the bull's baby, aka, the Minotaur. Minos was pissed so he banished the Minotaur to the labyrinth and that was that.

After the Palace, we were dropped off in Heraklion , the largest and capital city of Crete. There really isn't anything special about Heraklion other than it's reminiscent of Athens. It isn't a city necessarily designed for tourists but people who live there. As we walked through the city, Joe and Alex failed to pay attention to any of the directions given by the tour guide including important items like meeting time and place. This was generally the theme of the week so they resorted to following me around and started to call me dad, complete with pouting.

We headed back on the boat and we could catch a view of the main mountain on Crete where Zeus is purported to be buried. What is neat about the mountain is that the top of it has the profile of a man's face – pretty freaky. What is also freak is having your main, number one god die and be buried on a mountain – where does a civilization go from there?

We were off to the highly anticipated island of Santorini and I was excited. I had heard good things and they were pretty true. Santorini is the southern-most island in the Cyclades. It used to be nice and round until 1700 BC (give or take 50 years) when the volcano in the middle of it blew up…big time. The center of the island sunk into the sea leaving a moon-like crescent. This whole event is believed to be the basis for the Lost City of Atlantis.

Because the middle of the island sunk, what remains is Cliffside. There are two main villages on Santorini: Thira (called Fira on maps for some unknown reason) and Oia. When you arrive at Santorini, you have to take a tender boat from your cruise ship to the island. From there, we boarded a bus that drove us up the cliff side toward the point of the island and the little village of Oia. Oia had to be on of my favorite places in Greece. It has a similar architectural style to Myknonos with the whitewashed buildings and blue domed roofs except the village creeps down the cliff. You can hike out to the end of the village to the point of the island and see the whole village spread out before you over the cliff side. The streets (or walkways) are crammed with local artisans who make a decent living selling their craft to tourists passing through. Santorini is also known for having one of the top sunsets in the world and you get a prime spot from Oia while sitting on a little cliff side café.

But sunsets were not to be had while we were in Oia because we had to go to Thiral, the "main city". It was similar to Oia but less beautiful and more functional. It had a Greek Orthodox church and a Catholic chapel and a lot of stores. The sun began to set and I got a good glimpse and it sunk behind a little mountainous island and it was awesome. As the sun was sinking, I realized it was time to get back to the ship and I had two options before me. I could not be adventurous and take the cable car down the cliff after waiting in line or I could be adventurous and ride a donkey down the winding, 600+ step path to the sea and the old port. I of course chose the donkeys and it was awesome.

You have to walk down this street to get to where the "donkey station" is. The word station is a misnomer because it's a path with three dirty, old, loud Greek men causing chaos lined with hundreds of donkeys. The grab me by the arm and tell me to start walking. I eventually find a train of donkeys with some of my other tour mates on them and we head down the feces-ridden path. There were three things that made this experience great: 1) there were people trying to walk up and down the feces-ridden path that were getting plowed over by the donkeys, 2) I was on a donkey, and 3) the three Mexican girls were behind me screaming in Spanish which cracked me up – one even kept saying "andalay!, andalay!"

After we reached the bottom, we were waiting for the tinder boat and I bought myself a picture print poster of Oia. We headed back towards the boat and when we arrived, I went up to the sun deck to look over the island. It was an awesome sight, twilight with the lights of two villages dotting the skyline as a big moon rose over the top of the cliffs.

Sadly, the boat pulled away and the bulk of our journey was complete but not before one more fun filled night. A bulk of us were looking forward to a talent competition that the boat was sponsoring for one main reason George McCann from Georgia, USA. We had met George on a few occasions earlier in the week. He is a large, stocky man with a gut that probably puts him on the obese side. He tucks is shirt in fully to his pants (no blousing) and belts his trousers as far up his gut as possible. He also has a growth on his face that is apparently skin cancer. George is one of those social people who probably shouldn't be. When he talks to you, he is nice as pie but he is the type of person that you could see going psycho in the right environment. George was courageous enough to come up to Joe and myself and strike up a conversation. Now, that's not a bad thing but I thought it took some courage to come up to a group of young people and interject yourself into their conversation. He decided to tell us three jokes that were so bad, I will not do the injustice of repeating them here. We politely laughed and he kept talking despite promising multiple times throughout the conversation that he would move on because he is overstepping his bounds. We finally escaped and the next night he came up to our table again, repeated the same jokes, did a very bad JFK impersonation that sounded like Barbara Walters, and told us how great water was. He came up AGAIN another night to Joe, Mike, Susan, and myself. Joe immediately turned away and I spilled tea on myself and I just HAD to go clean it up. Anyway, this trend continued throughout the week and he eventually informed us that he was signing himself up for the talent show and we just had to go watch him crash and burn…

So the night of the talent show arrives and he had a four-part act. Apparently, he did the routine for the cruise director and she told him it was too long and he should cut it down…Incredulous, he re-did the act and made her time him. So he started off by greeting people in different languages as follows (as he had been practicing loudly throughout the week): "Madams y Monsieurs, Daman….Daman…und…Daman und Herren, Señoras y Señor-ees". He refused to use a microphone after that, prompting shouts from the old people in the back who couldn't hear (I politely informed them that this was probably better for their general health). He went on to tell the jokes and no one laughed. He followed that with a broken and terrible JFK impersonation (something along the lines of "Our childwen are our fwuture") prompting silence. But it was the last thing that made me fall off my chair laughing – he led the audience in a song. He started by looking for a pen for a minute or two so he could conduct the orchestra. He informed us that there would be audience participation and split us in half. Our half of the audience was supposed to sing "u-u-jah" when he pointed to us. The other half of the audience was supposed to sing "halle-halle-halle". Immediately, we all looked at each other and realized that he was going to have everyone sing a church song…on a boat full of secular and apathetic international people…near the Middle East. What made it even better is that he confused the sides and wanted our side to sing "halle-halle-halle". It was a disaster, but a very, very amusing disaster.

I should also note that I was supposed to take part in the talent show. Joe, Frank, Marcel and I were supposed to dance to "Hot Stuff". No one was really feeling it so we backed out at the last minute. I had everyone convinced that Jess was really pissed at us for backing out because "she had to go and arrange for all this stuff" and made everyone feel really guilty. It was kind of funny…but you had to be there.

To finish out the evening after dinner, we had a farewell evening of dance at, of course, the Starz Disco Lounge only tonight, we were going in style, WITH TOGAS. Of course, I show up way before anyone else in my toga and the few old people that were there were staring at me. This cool guy from Canada came up to me and said "You know son, there's a big difference between going to a toga party and walking around in a towel". I agreed and my other tour mates came to the rescue and we had a blast. To make the evening even better, Joe decided to get generous and bought a bottle of Dom Perignon. We had a little toast on the sun deck with Mike, Susan, Alex, Jess, Suprya, Joe, and myself. It was a fitting end to a fun week…please.

DAY 9: BACK TO ATHENS

Another early morning came and we had to disembark from the ship. After some luggage issues, we were dropped off back in Syntagma Square. Joe and I decided not to get the guided tour of Athens and do it on our own which was a good decision.

After dropping our luggage at the hotel we stayed at, we headed off for the Acropolis hoping to avoid the intense heat and the intense crowds; we were successful at neither. The crowds were immense as was the scaffolding. To be honest, the Acropolis was not very impressive (mainly because I've been to Egypt). Most of it was dismantled, stolen, or covered in scaffolding (until 2020). It was hot and crowded so we didn't spend too much time there. Now don't get me wrong, it's still impressive to imagine what life was like back then when the Acropolis was in full use. It was surrounded by two theatres, one of which is still used today which is cool. After exiting, we hiked up a mountain and say Socrate's prison carved in some rocks. I never knew he was arrested but apparently he was. We climbed to the top of the hill and got a really good view of the whole Acroplis, unobstructed. The only problem was the haze; the heat was so intense that you could see an obvious cloud over the rock. But the view was still a good one.

On the way out, we ran into Alex who was supposed to be on the guided tour of Athens but she forgot her ticket on the bus with her wallet. The bus had left and the tour group went in without her which was a bummer.

But we had to move on so we headed down to the Temple of the Olympian Zeus as the Acropolis ticket gets you access to all the historic attractions. We had seen it earlier in the week and it was a bit more impressive up close if not sparse. You really have to wonder how they managed to build this huge pillars with such primitive equipment. After that, we went back to the hotel where Joe took a nap because he was wiped out. I didn't want to waste my time in Athens so I went out to explore. I headed towards the Agora and got some lunch at a café. It's always weird eating in Europe because they have weird customs. For example, their service is terrible, you have to order a drink besides "tap water" which you don't get ice in, and they charge you for everything (like bread and ketchup – or tomato sauce).

After a €20 lunch of surprise chicken and rice, I headed into the Agora and walked around a bit. Again, it was mostly rubble that made no sense but there was one temple that was very intact and pretty cool. After my self guided walking tour, I headed back towards the hotel and ran into Candi and Martin (the travel agent from Canada) and we made plans to meet up for dinner with folks who were still in town. After writing some postcards out, I went back to wake up Joe and we met everyone at the Hermes Hotel for dinner. Dave and Cory were still in town and Cory almost had a breakdown about the place we chose for dinner. It was recommended by Jason and in the Plaka area so we knew it was close. Cory insisted that we should take a cab and was freaking out because he couldn't find it on his map (trying to find which way south was). Everyone stopped paying attention to him until he announced he and Dave were going to get a "head start" because they had to get back to their hotel tonight which was on the opposite side of town. Cory, in his infinite wisdom, chose a hotel completely out of the way because his tour book stated that it's near the modeling section of town and models frequent there…brilliant Cory.

Anyway, we find the restaurant, Shola Rhio, with ease. They have a cool special that when you bring four people or more, you can choose from 10 dishes for the table to share. We had at least 7 so we got a wide selection including Greek Salad, meatballs, beans, seaweed [terrible], peppers, sardine-like fish [not brave enough to try], pork, various sauces, ouzo, wine, and dessert. As we were finishing, Dave and Cory came from the upstairs having finished their meal. We were all a bit flabbergasted that they didn't save us seats but we got over it pretty quickly.

Joe and I finished the night saying goodbye and going for a stroll through the Plaka. It was a fitting end to a good trip. Before we went to bed, we realized it would be a good idea to check into our flights online. We tried to find an internet café with no luck. We literally walked half-way across Athens asking as many people as we could find until we finally found one. While it was a nice café, we were dismayed that we couldn't check in online for our flights. Angered, we began the long trek back to our hotel (after midnight) and told them we needed a wake-up call at 4:50am.

DAY 10: HOME

We awoke early and walked the two blocks to the train station at Syntagma Square only to find the trains running but the entry gates closed. This did not bode well with our strategy to get the 5:30am train and get there in time to check-in. After some brilliant thinking, I took the elevator down bypassing the gate. After 40 minutes, we arrived at the airport and waited in line to check in.

The flight back was uneventful as I slept most of the first leg. We had a layover in the Amsterdam airport which has to be the biggest (and nicest) airport I've seen. It literally took us a ½ hour to walk from Terminal C to Terminal G. I'm sad we didn't have more time there because there was a lot to explore. But given the time of the walk, and the interrogation we had to go through at the gate because we were "going to America", we had little free time. We also had to re-stock on candy since Joe left our original stash on the plane from Athens.

We arrived in Newark to nice weather and my dad who graciously drove us home.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Overall, it was a great trip because of the combination of culture and people I met. It certainly wasn't Egypt and I need to come to the reality that not much will ever be. Once I got over that, I was able to keep things in perspective and have a really good time. The culture of the Greek islands was unique and I'm glad I was able to experience and Turkey is a country that I would like to explore a little more (partially because it seems so exotic and unique). I was a bit skeptical of the trip half way through but looking back on it, I realize how much fun I really had. For me, the value of vacations doesn't really lie in the time away but moreso in the anticipation leading up to it and more importantly, looking back on it and the experiences I've had.

I realized that I take my country and the opportunities it presents for granted and that I often lose my perspective on what is important in life. Traveling helps me realize how small the world is but also how inconsequential the things are that I worry about and give authority in my life sometimes.

The Rodentia War continues...

It seems as though the squirrels have been honoring our treaty and sticking to their tree. However, a new threat has arisen...

I stopped at home for lunch today with a co-worker and went to throw something into the recycling bin on my front porch when I noticed a creature staring up at me... I jumped back a bit freaked out. Upon closer examination, it turned out to be a disgruntled possum (perhaps an adolescent) angry that I had disturbed its slumber.

We decided to eat inside instead of on the porch for fear it would leap out and attach itself to one of our necks a la the Killer Rabbit from Monty Python.

When we came back outside (cautiously) and examined the bin, I noticed that there was not one possum, but two. One was sleeping inside my Progresso Soup can (after eating the paper wrapper off of it) and the other inside the Slurpee Cup.

I cautiously moved the bin to the back alley so they could be on the way.

I'm man enough to admit that I'm concerned about the next wildlife enemy that will choose to battle with me...

R.I.P

I will be posting the ridiculously long vacation summary for those of you with too much free time by the end of the week.

In the meantime, it is my sad, sad duty to announce the death of my camera. It has served me through 40 states, 16 countries and over 5,500 pictures. It has certainly pulled its weight but died at the most in-opportune of times.

She met her demise in Istanbul which was a fitting end.

The time has now come to research replacements and I'm going to make the leap to digital...

PSU Football

This weekend, I decided to go up to Penn State at the coaxing of a friend to take part in the revelry and tradition that is Nittany Lion Football. It was the first time I went up without a ticket to the game and I wasn't quite sure what to expect.

The day was hot and little humid but manageable. This game (vs. Notre Dame) had a lot of hype built around it due to last years loss and the history between the two teams and the fans. It stood to be a defining game that would help set the tone for the rest of the season for the Nittany Lions and everyone was out in full style. Tailgaters were everyone in their normal style with large RV's and tour buses, satellite televisions, even live bands to celebrate. As you walk through the tailgate, you can't help but feel as though you are a part of something bigger than yourself, part of a proud tradition. I hope that one day, I can build experiences with my own family like the ones I've been a part of for the last 9 years.

Because of the hype, tickets were going for a premium. My neighbor sold his pair for $2300! My hopes of getting a scalped ticket were fairly low because of all the excitement. In fact, as we walked throughout the town, even the scalpers were having a hard time getting tickets, yet alone selling them. Those that were lucky enough to get tickets were selling them for $275 - $300 which was out of my price range.

About an hour before kick-off, I was about to lose hope when a gentlemen in front of me was on his cell phone and I heard him say "Oh, they aren't coming? I'll tell him just to get rid of them then." I politely nosed my way in and asked if he was selling any tickets. He said yes but was selling them for $200 a piece. I told him all I could give was $100 a piece and he replied that there was still some time. As they walked away, he stopped, turned around, and asked if we were actually going to go to the game or scalp them. We told him that we were going to go to the game and he relented and sold them to us for our price. It was great to see someone sacrifice a little so some fans could see the game.

In we went and wow – 110,000+ all dressed in white (except the Notre Dame fans). It was the first ever full white-out at the stadium and it was awesome. The noise level and excitement was second only to the Nebraska game 4 years ago (which I was also privileged enough to attend). The fans did their part to help lead Penn State to an important victory over the Irish and I was blessed to be one of them. The excitement was just so intense when a good play was made – that is what Penn State football is about. Not a player, not even a team, but a tradition.

As a sidebar, here are some the things I've noticed that have changed in the last five years at a PSU football game:

1) Tailgating has become much more commercialized. There were a bunch of marketing buses from companies like Lowe's and Geico that weren't necessary. Hopefully that trend won't continue to grow.

2) The fan base is becoming more organized with whiteouts. What started with a student section idea has now spread to encompass the whole stadium which was awesome.

3) When I was there, the "S" Zone was an area in the Freshman section to be avoided at all costs. They gave you these ridiculous things to wear (not T-Shirts - just a mesh covering) and policed you going in and out. Now it has turned into a thing of pride and moved to the Senior Section. They get proper T-Shirts which is pretty cool.

4) They have stopped throwing things after touchdowns. It took me a while to get over the habit of turning around and ducking for cover every time we score... Instead, they raise people up and throw them into the air for each point we have. A much better alternative then coming home with Nacho Cheese all over your back.

5) The Alma Mater. Today's students are more refined and actually sing the words with pride instead of the repeating chorus of "We don't know the god damned words" over and over again.

6) No more Bobby Jo (Solomon) - the Blue Sapphire. She was a legend, both for her on field skills and her off-field partying. After what must have been 7 years, she finally graduated leaving a gaping hole in the Penn Sate tradition. However, it has been filled with another Jo - Pamela Jo Maierhofer. I think it's a rule that all Blue Sapphire's (Head Majorette) have to have Jo in their middle name. I never thought I would see someone who could ever compare to Bobby Jo but I must say, Pamela Jo was certainly up there. She twirled not one, not two, but three batons while they were on fire. Bobby Joe never did three on fire....

7) No more token flag boy. The flag people (aka color guard - not the military one) in every band has always been the brunt of jokes. Just when we thought the well was dry, Flag Boy joined the group when we were undergrads. Sadly, there is no more token flag boy - it's back to the status-quo all-girl flag twirlers.

8) The Dance Team. When we were undergrads, all the Dance Team EVER did was kick lines. It was one of the most predicable things on the planet that when the Dance Team came out, they would be in a kick line within 1 minute of their routine. Not so anymore, they have expanded their horizons and there was NO KICKLINE. I was floored...