So someone has wished wrath and plague upon me and it has come in the form of Poison Ivy. I have no idea how I got it but boy did I get it. I was overly active one day and sweated causing it go everywhere....and I mean everywhere. Over the course of the past week, I watched it creep ever closer to my eye. It covered my whole body (with the exception of my feet). It's a terrible pestilence...
The best part is it spread across the left side of my face making it look like I had Ebola or the Bubonic plague. People look at me like I have leprosy. It's good on one note because people I don't want to talk to me leave me alone. The downside? Last week was my 5 year anniversary at work and my company has a propaganda session they call Service Awards to recognize my "service". Well, me and my poison got to sit at the same, intimate table as the President and COO of my organization. Fantastic.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
The Squirrel Brothel
The Squirrels have found two new activities as of late: killing and mating.
Yesterday, I fired up the old grill and got a waft of death. Upon searching around the yard, I found a dead baby rabbit. There are only two things that could have done such a thing (besides my friend Doug who has a large distaste for rabbits - but he has moved to Chicago so we will count him innocent). The first is a cat. There is one neighborhood cat that stays indoors most of the time and has not been known to attack other neighborhood wildlife.
After looking around the yard, I noticed on the very top of the tree in my yard, staring at me as I examined the dead rabbit, was a squirrel. I could see the guilt on his little face... The rabbit itself didn't really concern me - of more importance was the fact that the squirrels had now infiltrated my tiny backyard. That means I have to protect two entrances to my home from the unwanted rodentia.
I was perfectly ok with living with the growing presence of the squirrels. That was until this morning. Allow me to set a little bit of the scene. One of my nemesii in this world is a large vine that grows up the front of my house and along the side of the porch. I hesitate to use the word vine because it is technically classified as a weed. However, it blooms nice little flowers once a year for about a week (which was supposed to happen within the next two weeks here).
The vine grows at an extraordinary rate - so much that it requires more attention than a newborn (to my friends with children - relax, I'm exagerrating). Well, I go out the door this morning for work and I notice that half of the vine is stripped bare - to the bark. I initially thought it was due to the storm we had last night. I was wrong...
When I came home this afternoon, I realized it wasn't the storm, it was the squirrels. The y had decided to make a nest in my vine by stripping all of the leaves from the other half. I arrived home to find six, yes SIX, squirrels sitting on the ledge of my porch and on top of a brick pillar supporting the roof. They were none too pleased with my arrival and started to scurry about to ward me off. Eventually, I emerged victorious and chased them off. Whenever I open my door, I'm waiting for one of them to get spooked and run into my house.
I've also got to be ready for an attack. My neighbor, amused at the situation, told with utmost seriousness how his girlfriend got bitten by a squirrel that jumped off a branch onto her.
The squirrels seem to have taken a break from fighting each other to make some love - unfortunately, they are turning my porch into a brothel.
Yesterday, I fired up the old grill and got a waft of death. Upon searching around the yard, I found a dead baby rabbit. There are only two things that could have done such a thing (besides my friend Doug who has a large distaste for rabbits - but he has moved to Chicago so we will count him innocent). The first is a cat. There is one neighborhood cat that stays indoors most of the time and has not been known to attack other neighborhood wildlife.
After looking around the yard, I noticed on the very top of the tree in my yard, staring at me as I examined the dead rabbit, was a squirrel. I could see the guilt on his little face... The rabbit itself didn't really concern me - of more importance was the fact that the squirrels had now infiltrated my tiny backyard. That means I have to protect two entrances to my home from the unwanted rodentia.
I was perfectly ok with living with the growing presence of the squirrels. That was until this morning. Allow me to set a little bit of the scene. One of my nemesii in this world is a large vine that grows up the front of my house and along the side of the porch. I hesitate to use the word vine because it is technically classified as a weed. However, it blooms nice little flowers once a year for about a week (which was supposed to happen within the next two weeks here).
The vine grows at an extraordinary rate - so much that it requires more attention than a newborn (to my friends with children - relax, I'm exagerrating). Well, I go out the door this morning for work and I notice that half of the vine is stripped bare - to the bark. I initially thought it was due to the storm we had last night. I was wrong...
When I came home this afternoon, I realized it wasn't the storm, it was the squirrels. The y had decided to make a nest in my vine by stripping all of the leaves from the other half. I arrived home to find six, yes SIX, squirrels sitting on the ledge of my porch and on top of a brick pillar supporting the roof. They were none too pleased with my arrival and started to scurry about to ward me off. Eventually, I emerged victorious and chased them off. Whenever I open my door, I'm waiting for one of them to get spooked and run into my house.
I've also got to be ready for an attack. My neighbor, amused at the situation, told with utmost seriousness how his girlfriend got bitten by a squirrel that jumped off a branch onto her.
The squirrels seem to have taken a break from fighting each other to make some love - unfortunately, they are turning my porch into a brothel.
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